I Do Not Know How To Feel Anymore

Congratulations once again to Alvin Keng and Jessica Chan upon their marriage yesterday at the ceremony in St. Peter's Church, Bangsar in the morning and the wedding dinner was beautiful as well :) they are officially married, together, husband and wife :p

All was good for me throughout the day, but until the very end of the wedding dinner, I was in a not-so-good-mood that only Salby and Joel knows about it. I really thank God for them as they were there for me whenever I feel helpless and needs someone to talk to. The 3 of us are very close till a point where we became non-biological brother and sisters. It's funny to see that I'm closer to them rather than my own sisters ._. oops.

Many did not know I was feeling down cause they are not the ones or the reason I'm feeling emotionally down. Whatever it is, if the person is smart enough or rather an observational type of person, he/she might notice my actions towards him/her is rather "cold". My cold-shoulder treatment to that person.

However, I really do not want to see me and that person fall into this kinda relationship as we were once consider close to each other. But after that conversation, I don't think we are as close anymore. Right now, whenever I see that person around me, I would not want to give him/her any eye contact and I would try my every way to stay far away from him/her.

I told myself to not cry over issues like this as it's not beneficial for me in any way cause I'm just hurting myself at the end of the day and it's not worth it to cry over that person. That's my 2010 Resolution and I manage to stand firm and stick to my Resolution, thank God. But still, there are times when I really wanted to cry out and just let it all out. It's really suffocating to keep everything inside and not knowing how to let go of the hatred/anger/frustration/upset feelings within me.

Sometimes, I'm just tired and fed up of all this but the feeling of not wanting to let go over this friendship makes things even more complicated for me :/ right now, I don't even know how to face that person anymore. What kind of feelings should I use to face him/her? Should I smile? Should I be someone different in front of that person while facing others, I'm still the normal girl they used to know?

Sigh. All I can do now is to just rest in His arms and let Him take care of everything. I'm helpless at this point. There's nothing much I can do now. God, take over.



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

Today

Is the BIG DAY for Alvin and Jessica as they exchange their wedding vows before God at St. Peter's Church in Bangsar later, 10am :)

I have no idea why I woke up as early as 5am just now, but it sure feels good waking up early in the morning :) currently writing down the script for next Sunday's CVA episode as I do not have a printer at home :( *cries!*

Will update again later on their wedding ceremony and wedding dinner :) congratulations to the both of them! They're getting married!



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

I Think

I should just shaddap from now onwards.

Sometimes,
It's best if I don't ask those questions in the first place.

Sometimes,
Instead of trying to clarify things by asking those questions, we messed it up.

Sometimes,
Instead of wanting to build a stronger friendship, when things goes the other way round, don't even think about calling each other good/close friends anymore.

Sometimes,
That is how friendship grew further apart.

Sometimes,
Awkward moments occur.

Sometimes,
I really feel stupid of myself for messing things up, again.



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

Ampang Lookout Point

It was a great dinner outing indeed :) my first time going to that place as well. And from the time before we head to that place till the time we came back home, those moments will never be easily erased from my memory :)

Who did I went with? Joan, Joanna, Carmen, Michelle Lee, William, Azhar, Suzuki, Lyon, John, Jia Kent, Cruz, Nick and Keith.

The part where I hopped from Jia Kent's car to Nick's car to Carmen's car was superb fun! We have a total of 5 drivers and 4 cars with some empty passenger seats in a few cars :p our original plan to meet at Michelle's place at 7pm has been dragged to 8.30pm :p Malaysian timing. Kent started blaming Joan due to his late arrival and we reached Ampang Lookout Point around 9.10pm or so. Haha!

I'm actually uber lazy to update the details right here. What more I do not have the pictures with me at the moment. Have to wait for our favourite photographers (Nick and John) to upload those pictures first, so that I can 'steal' the photos from them after that :O

Oh, before we left the place, the staff from this restaurant we dine in at (which I forgotten the name of the restaurant) gave us free tea (with mint in it, eww!) and cake for each of us and all of us started singing the birthday song without knowing whose birthday we're celebrating for! Haha! I think the staffs likes us :p

I tried asking Nick to drift down the hills when we left that place and I called it "Ampang Drift" :O lame-ness attack!

Shall update on the outing again once I got the pictures from both Nick and John. Currently flooding the playlist and myself with emo songs after listening to so many emo songs on my way to Ampang Lookout Point, at the restaurant in Lookout Point itself and on the way back from Lookout Point. I'm not emotionally down or anything, just in the mood of wanting to listen to emo songs, that's all :O

Alvin Keng Kong Wai, my ACTS TV Boss and TN5 Home Leader is getting married with Jessica this Saturday! I'm feeling excited for the both of them since Monday :p haha!



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

Just A Thought

I tend to ask certain guys on questions that will make them think "What is wrong with this girl asking me this question? Does she likes me or something?" that sorta thought. Hahahahaha!

Is that good or bad? Hmmm.



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

What Done Is Done

Teared for the second time of the year. I screwed my part of the ECS III Research Presentation just now. Was super down and emo for a moment till I seriously felt like skipping the remaining classes of the day. But thank God for friends like them, I managed to smile again :) you know who you guys and girls are ;) all of you are awesome! Hugz!

Much thanks to Leona as well for being there for me :) I hearts you!

Anyway, it's over now. Goodbye ECS III Research Presentation!

Btw, I'm still at college now. In case you readers out there really thought that I skipped class. Teehee.



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

Miss Swan

"Hello?" *Miss Swan slang*

You'll know what I mean after you watch this video :p I actually annoyed the whole ACTS TV people who served during Sunday Evening Service just now :D and one of them said that I'm not allowed to drink Pepsi/Coke whenever I'm serving in ACTS TV while another person said that I'm annoying/irritating but in the end, he was influenced as well! Hahahahaha!



Went to Nirvana with a bunch of awesome possum people just now and some of us started to arm wrestle with each other after dinner. I played with Joneil, Ken-Ji and Salby and I lost all 3 rounds -.- hmmph! Some of them actually expected me to win at least 2 rounds (with Ken-Ji and Salby) but no :( my hands got no strength + muscle! Haha! Ada fats je :p before we said goodbye to each other, some of us started treating Joel Wong as a punching bag by punching him while Pastor Andy stared at us like one-kind :D

Back to assignments :( gotta prepare myself for the ECS III Research presentation this coming Tuesday and more written assignments -.- ughh I just can't wait for all this to end! Including Finals! Rawr!



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

23.01.2010

Saturday. The day I used to always go lazy and slack at home.

But now?
Because I'm a March 2009 intake student of Foundation course in Taylor's College Petaling Jaya campus.
Because I'm a semester 3 students now.
And because this is my Final Semester for this Foundation course.

All lecturers who used to taught us in the previous semesters are being uber mean to us when comes to assignments wise. Hello? Did they realize that our final semester is a short semester? And when I say short, it's short. Yes, approximately 2 months worth of time for us to attend classes and still cost us a bomb for college fees. Hmmph.

We have at least 2 assignments due every week! And for our ECS (English for College Studies) III, we were asked to do on this one research paper that takes us forever to complete it. None of us have ever encountered this research work before, and we were asked to complete this one particular assignment in a limited time and our lecturer expects us to do well in this assignment. Wow thanks for putting so much hope in us :D not.

But of course, all of us wants to score and do well in our assignments. So, what we can do is just complain and get on with live.

On a side note, we've just finished our Mid Terms exam last Thursday and now we have to prepare for our Finals in 2 weeks time, which is from the 8 - 9 of February -.- go die Taylor's staff! Just admit that you guys are bad in planning all our timing and such! It's a shame that you guys call yourself professionals. Tsk.

Sigh. Back to assignments now :( tempted to NOT do my TV Series review assignment. Don't feel like overworking my brain and squeezing out ideas to write out a 1200 words for only 5%. Should I not do? Haha!



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

ACTS Teens Combined Homes Party

Friday Night Games!

Date : 22.01.2010 (tonight!)
Time : 8pm - 10.30pm
Venue: USJ2/6 (there's an error in the poster)

All teens from the age of 11 - 17 are invited to this event :D if you know someone who falls in to the category, bring them and a friend along! The more the merrier :D

I'll be there :) are YOU?



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

Ramli Burger For Dinner

Mom was lazy to cook these days in the evening and she decided to dapau some food back and have a simple dinner. Yesterday, mommy along with the elder and younger sister went to I-don't-know-which Pasar Malam and bought us dinner. Tonight, instead of the elder sister, I went with my mom and younger sister to the oh-so-famous USJ4 Ramli Burger stall and waited for approximately 45 minutes for us to get our burgers since we ordered. The overflowing customers with their respective orders has no end -.-


Burger Ayam Special + Cheese. - RM3.90




Burger Ayam Double Special + Cheese. - RM4.20


Hot Dog Ayam Double. - RM3.90


Candid picture of elder sister enjoying her Burger Ayam + Cheese. - RM3.40 :D

Total cost: RM15.40 for 4 orders.

Which is reasonably cheap and a bit under-priced (haha!) for a the amount of Ramli Burger we ordered with extra cheese and such :p mom kept on repeating and saying that one McD set meal for a person already cost more than RM10 while 4 Ramli Burger's for 4 people only cost us less than RM20.

Nevertheless, I am satisfied :) my tummy is satisfied :D the 4 of us are satisfied! We finish our meal with another cup of homemade barley :) double uuhhzz!



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™

Same Blog, Yet Different

Tweet?

Same blog, different link, and I deleted all of my previous blog post from the day I created this blog (which is approximately one year ago) till the post before this :p

The reason why I changed my blog link is because I find my previous one rather annoying (in some ways and for some reason) and I do not want to go through the hassle to create a new blog and ditch everything in this blog that has been with me for almost a year now :p though I have to ask everyone to relink this new site ;p

But at least right now, it's as though I've created and got myself a new blog site but no. I'm still in the same blog with just my blog link changed and old post been deleted :p doesn't really make sense but yeah! Haha!



Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™