Partially my bad as well. I took a short nap around 10 plus last night and my mom woke me up around 2 something to watch the tense match between Germany and Spain. I got hungry and decided to cook a packet of maggi mee (curry flavor) around 4am. Around 5am (after the match), I went back to sleep to rest before waking up for another long day ahead in AYA. When I woke up around 8.15am, I wasn't feeling hungry as I was still full from what I ate earlier on so I thought, "maybe I could grab a quick bite before 12pm" as Thursday is our teens ministry's (Acts Teens) Fast & Pray day. But little did I know, time flew by like a wind, and it was 12.15pm already after VIP class. So I've committed to fast during lunch, I went on with an empty stomach throughout the rest of the afternoon, solely depending on 2 cans of cold nescafe and 2 eclipse sweet to survive.
Sorry Lord that I did not seek for strength from You. And because of that, I got myself all cranky and I can't seem to concentrate in my work. But thank God that I was still able to receive and listen to what Pastor Andy, Joel Wong and Alvin shared what they need to share when I met up with them at different times. However, things didn't end well when we had CVA meeting just now. My stomach refuses to eat any sort of food as I was feeling nauseas already at that time and I seriously felt like vomiting a few times. I wasn't able to concentrate throughout the whole CVA meet with the team that I almost broke down in front of them. Because I do not want to show that weak side of me that easily, I held in my tears and told them what I think I should do at that time. Instead of staying back for Vision Casting at 8.30pm, I decided to come home early to rest as I know myself well for I was at the edge of wanting to break down already. So, what am I doing here?
There are still a few task which I've yet to complete it, that's why I'm here. After going through all this, I really need to buck up and learn how to manage myself and time well. With so many things in hand to handle already, crying and sulking won't help at all. I can only always turn to the one and only who was always there for us whenever we need a helping hand. Lord, I sincerely surrender my all unto You. I can't do this alone. Whatever negative thoughts and feelings I have now, help me remove it as I know myself well that I will keep on thinking and hold on to those feelings and thoughts.
Physically and mentally tired. But I shall not claim all this for this is what the Satan wants. The more all this nonsense happen, the more I will do things the devils do not like to see. A good night rest is what I need now. I shall put my rest upon Him and know that everything is gonna be alright when I wake up the next day. Right, daddy God? :)
Blessings & Peace Out,
♠ Vanessa ♠™ ♥
No comments:
Post a Comment