Sometimes

Was emotionally down after dinner just now. I'm thinking too much again and I really wonder when would I ever overcome this stupid habit of mine and get over with it.

There were so many thoughts that came across my mind at that moment and instantly, all I want to do is to talk to someone that will make me feel better.

But, even as I manage to spill out those thoughts or feelings of mine to a friend or a family member, this irritating feeling in me will not go away that easily. I'll still feel the same as before and I really do not know how to get rid of that feeling.

However, whenever I start telling Him my problems, I can't help but to smile and feel relieve once I speak to Him. :) When all things fails, He's the One and Only that I can always depend on, count on, and turn towards to whenever I needed a helping hand, a friend that I can talk to, a comforter who will always comfort me, a Father who shows His undying love and care towards us, and a God who never forsakes you. :)

Without Him, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. Without Him, I wouldn't know where or what kind of situation would I end up at right now. Without Him, I was able to find joy in Him. Without Him, I am nothing.

Thank You Daddy God, for everything. I love you lots. :) ♥ ♥ ♥

Blessings & Peace Out,

♠ Vanessa ♠™ ♥

Attended Jack & Jill's wedding ceremony in the evening. It was indeed a lovely and beautiful garden wedding held in Cyberview Lodge Resort :)

Taken by Philip Gan.

Taken by Pastor Dave.

Taken by Michelle Ng.

Pictures says it all. :) am not gonna further elaborate on how beautiful the weather is that time, which made the whole wedding ceremony even more beautiful! My very first time attending a garden wedding ceremony for your information :O

Congratulations once again to the newly weds! And in case you're wondering, I'm not joking on the names as their names are really Jack AND Jill. :D

Blessings & Peace Out,

♠ Vanessa ♠™ ♥

Blamed

Am I being blamed now?

I'm not too sure why but I have this funny feeling that some people aren't too happy that I did not show up at Homes Party just now. First thing first, I can't do or say anything but to apologize cause I was suddenly ill and I didn't plan for it to happen in the first place.

I shall not go into too much details but frankly speaking, I do not like it when you all sounded unhappy or dissatisfied when I say I could not make it last minute. If I don't go, will the whole event be affected? Isn't that bad news if that's really the reason? When some of you were away or not feeling well, did I make any complains or such? Did I sounded unhappy or unsatisfied when you weren't around? Why must I feel bad when my illness is out of my control?

Like I said earlier, I would not go into details. And whatever it is, everything's over now. I better get more rest to prepare for yet another long day ahead tomorrow. Toodles. x ♥

Blessings & Peace Out,

♠ Vanessa ♠™ ♥

Time Management

Second day of volunteering in AYA, and I almost cried at the end of the day.

Partially my bad as well. I took a short nap around 10 plus last night and my mom woke me up around 2 something to watch the tense match between Germany and Spain. I got hungry and decided to cook a packet of maggi mee (curry flavor) around 4am. Around 5am (after the match), I went back to sleep to rest before waking up for another long day ahead in AYA. When I woke up around 8.15am, I wasn't feeling hungry as I was still full from what I ate earlier on so I thought, "maybe I could grab a quick bite before 12pm" as Thursday is our teens ministry's (Acts Teens) Fast & Pray day. But little did I know, time flew by like a wind, and it was 12.15pm already after VIP class. So I've committed to fast during lunch, I went on with an empty stomach throughout the rest of the afternoon, solely depending on 2 cans of cold nescafe and 2 eclipse sweet to survive.

Sorry Lord that I did not seek for strength from You. And because of that, I got myself all cranky and I can't seem to concentrate in my work. But thank God that I was still able to receive and listen to what Pastor Andy, Joel Wong and Alvin shared what they need to share when I met up with them at different times. However, things didn't end well when we had CVA meeting just now. My stomach refuses to eat any sort of food as I was feeling nauseas already at that time and I seriously felt like vomiting a few times. I wasn't able to concentrate throughout the whole CVA meet with the team that I almost broke down in front of them. Because I do not want to show that weak side of me that easily, I held in my tears and told them what I think I should do at that time. Instead of staying back for Vision Casting at 8.30pm, I decided to come home early to rest as I know myself well for I was at the edge of wanting to break down already. So, what am I doing here?

There are still a few task which I've yet to complete it, that's why I'm here. After going through all this, I really need to buck up and learn how to manage myself and time well. With so many things in hand to handle already, crying and sulking won't help at all. I can only always turn to the one and only who was always there for us whenever we need a helping hand. Lord, I sincerely surrender my all unto You. I can't do this alone. Whatever negative thoughts and feelings I have now, help me remove it as I know myself well that I will keep on thinking and hold on to those feelings and thoughts.

Physically and mentally tired. But I shall not claim all this for this is what the Satan wants. The more all this nonsense happen, the more I will do things the devils do not like to see. A good night rest is what I need now. I shall put my rest upon Him and know that everything is gonna be alright when I wake up the next day. Right, daddy God? :)

Blessings & Peace Out,

♠ Vanessa ♠™ ♥

Volunteer

My first day volunteering in AYA :D and I'm right now blogging from the 2nd floor of the office! Haha! I sure have the nerve to blog at this hour :p it's lunch break la now. Currently waiting for Pastor Andy with Brian Ong to go grab our lunch and have a short meeting on what we're suppose to do while volunteering/intern-ing in AYA. Yes, our ever awesome genius Brian Ong is my colleague now :p he's just 15 this year and he'll be taking A Levels like, next year? :S

Blessings & Peace Out,

♠ Vanessa ♠™ ♥

Juniors

Taken during Subang Rally 2010: IGNITE after the night party.

For some reason, I really thank God for awesome high school juniors like them :p though we may not have known each other for long, but it feels as though they have become a part of my life and I really don't mind having them as my pet brothers and sisters :p

There are a few missing humans in the picture though. An Jie, Reuben, and the awesome and my favorite, David Teoh! Haha! Can't wait for this Friday's CF, so that I can meet and spend time with them again. :D

Being really random now as I seriously do not know what to do at the moment. Starting work as a volunteer in AYA in a few hours time :p I is excited!

Blessings & Peace Out,

♠ Vanessa ♠™ ♥

Decisions

I have never made such decision in my entire life before. But guess it's the best choice for me to allow myself to move on.

From now onwards, everything related to it will be erased from my memory and whatever that has happened all this while will not be remembered, anymore.

Goodbye my friend. This will be my last goodbye to you and the next time we meet, it'll be a new hello you'll ever hear from me.

Blessings & Peace Out,

♠ Vanessa ♠™ ♥